He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize