so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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