I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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