Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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