just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize