i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
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