my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
