Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
