brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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