The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
