mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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