I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
that's an acceptable place to lick
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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