good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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