you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
