I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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