I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
nutella sex= disaster
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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