I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
