Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
