With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
