We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
