Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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