im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
