Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
