We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize