She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
