I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
