i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
