Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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