if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
