i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize