Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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