I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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