So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize