So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
