normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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