Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
