Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
