Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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