if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
