the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
