No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
