Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
