tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
