fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
