oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize