I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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