Don't make out with my wife yet
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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