The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize