...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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