where am i from again
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
