I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize