Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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