I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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