dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
