idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
