Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
