yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the condom got lost in my hair
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
