Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize