look no pants
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
