Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
