So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
