Don't make out with my wife yet
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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