i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
