i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize