the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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