he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
