And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
