I love black thongs
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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