JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
organizing the empties. That sober.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
