If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
