So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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