You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
