butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
