You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
