He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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