I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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