I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish i was in the wii world.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
