So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
